When things are on joyful moments with bountiful amount of
inspiration things are going down easy. Woke up each day with a new hope to
dream-off and smile that’s been in this face ever since everything is going on
to the light, but light has been shattered it recoils back to its void space
where time stops. Motivation and small amount of hope vanish in thin air. With
a weak knees, this self falls down and shed tears to the Almighty Creator,
within this lips no others words to speak but a question “Why?” with a pounded
heart it beats like nothing before, blood rushing in and out this veins, like a
superhighway were cars goes to its speed limits. To be calm is not an option
but here with a weak body for 4 days with no food to eat, fasted so that this
request may granted but to no avail, failure comes knocking on my front door.
My mind stops working, it automatically turn off to stop the damage intake but
the heart receive all the reality.
When things all run out, all I have left is words, I have
failed to hear my God’s voice, silence echoes in my mind as the hands of
darkness reached through me grabs every limbs of my body yet I struggle, I beg
to my God to save me from this emotion, save me from destruction. I ask “Am
I not enough?, why such fate falls unto me? I ask with full of hope yet failed?”
for the first time I felt a phobia on love. I sit, I stand, I kneel and I walk
in and out with a heavy burden, the air in my room feels so heavy and filled
with questions of regret and frustration, until I’m so weak to continue and lie
down the bed, still this tears keeps on flowing down until I fell in deep
slumber.
I eat bitterly the next day still picking up the pieces that
shattered from unbearable shock with tears falls on my plate. I ate a spoonful of sorrow.
