When things are on joyful moments with bountiful amount of inspiration things are going down easy. Woke up each day with a new hope to dream-off and smile that’s been in this face ever since everything is going on to the light, but light has been shattered it recoils back to its void space where time stops. Motivation and small amount of hope vanish in thin air. With a weak knees, this self falls down and shed tears to the Almighty Creator, within this lips no others words to speak but a question “Why?” with a pounded heart it beats like nothing before, blood rushing in and out this veins, like a superhighway were cars goes to its speed limits. To be calm is not an option but here with a weak body for 4 days with no food to eat, fasted so that this request may granted but to no avail, failure comes knocking on my front door. My mind stops working, it automatically turn off to stop the damage intake but the heart receive all the reality.
When things all run out, all I have left is words, I have failed to hear my God’s voice, silence echoes in my mind as the hands of darkness reached through me grabs every limbs of my body yet I struggle, I beg to my God to save me from this emotion, save me from destruction. I ask “Am I not enough?, why such fate falls unto me? I ask with full of hope yet failed?” for the first time I felt a phobia on love. I sit, I stand, I kneel and I walk in and out with a heavy burden, the air in my room feels so heavy and filled with questions of regret and frustration, until I’m so weak to continue and lie down the bed, still this tears keeps on flowing down until I fell in deep slumber.
I eat bitterly the next day still picking up the pieces that shattered from unbearable shock with tears falls on my plate. I ate a spoonful of sorrow.