The curtains of reality has been lit open to my sight and behold I see nothing but lies of this world. I came running unto God to save me upon this treachery yet to no avail God said "endure my son to the very end" [Matthew 24:13] accepting is easy but to go on process is difficult for talk is cheap and action is priceless. [Ecclesiastes 5:7] Each day is a battle to won for I failed most of the time and all I have is a burden heart, yet I failed to see the barrier of protection that this eyes may not see, this skin may not feel and understanding may not fathom but it is there within my presence for the love of God and its mercy cannot separate me from him [Romans 8:39].It requires more than plain sight to grasp this emotion but it is faith. I am afraid to lose what is rightfully mine for I am not in this place but belongs to the kingdom of my Father, this may be words coming from my thoughts but defying on the basis of action may result to my demise. All I have now is questions of What, Where, When, Why and How? and through each passing day I rely all I have to God yet I still cause him pain, do I deserve such love from Him? this world filled with lies and deceit invokes me to do such acts but I endure yet still fails. Each time I fall His words enlightened me to stand up for it is still not the end and I return to Him with a teary eye asking Why do he loves me this way that I only cause Him pain, I am begging my God to remove this will upon me so I may not cause Him pain anymore, yet God answers with a smile for I failed to see the humbleness I have shown. I see my future in a path of light but on its sides are deadly creatures waiting to devour for me not to continue thy path. The path is narrow, enough to walk forward and lining behind is impossible. I thank Him how he steer the wheel of my life towards Him, how He proves His words are true and promises to its perfect timing. I am doing my best yet my best still not enough for I may not able to produce a single soul unto him for I myself is still on the process of fighting the existing evil upon me for the day will come through God's grace that this will be defeated. I am so weak very weak like an infant that still can't stand on its feet but relying on the hands that carries me loving me faithfully. To be called His son is too much for me to bare but to be his slave is what I deserve.
Monday, March 19, 2012
How many hours, days and months have past that I failed to update this blog? I don’t know! let me do the math first hmmm $#%@#QO*&%Y#@(&% … ok I’m almost 8 months old by now! It takes me almost 3 months to write back again… well those 3 months doesn't put unto shame for I was found in deep trouble and lifted me up and out of nowhere I’m slowly changing my life style. Being a Christian is not only a religion it is a way of a living or a lifestyle, the past 3 months is a drastic rehabilitation for myself to re-evaluate my stature in Christ and I fall ashamed of myself for I was greedy and a prodigal child and yet Jesus waited for me patiently… It all came back to me why I suffer those things in my past and that is to redefine my living today. Im on the process of repentance for asking my heavy load of sins unto the Lord for I was so blind to see that Jesus have been shedding his tears to me for the sins I’m blind to see, but it is so amazing how God patiently work his way unto me, thinking it all back, being so amaze I was lost of words…… for the first time of my 26 years I started reading the bible and I said WOoooOooO what ive been doing for the past 26 years is Rubbish!!!! Good thing I was able to see the light in early age so no more time wasting and I mobilize in doing it right even if its hard… base on my opinion the longer you haven’t meet god the harder you struggle in breaking up things in the earthly desires, I do struggle to remove things that is not pleasing to god and first I offer my smoking habits to god and once I thought that I can’t escape smoking in my entire life yet I ask guidance to the holy spirit to remove it and now im 2 months old smoking free-man!, Remove small things in my life is my step by step process in walking my way to repentance its better this way rather than making big changes and yet still failed in the end. May it be small things or big things one thing is for sure I make my God smile ^_^… now I press the reset button on my life and start a way of living called being a Christian for someday Ill be a saint I may be an infant in faith but its never to late to change a way of living.
Its all about me and God now as my vision unveils the harshness and reality of the world for how the unseen war wages against good and evil and people fails to see their own actions towards each other now I somehow get it why God wept over his people. Im planning, mobilizing and building my faith to God for the race of life starts at the moment I change my lifestyle a lifestyle that most people see as the most boring lifestyle ever and yet make no mistake if you started your way into Christian living you will be able to see the unseen war. I pray to God that I started strong and I hope by the grace of God Ill end it strong also that even death cannot stop me for God Im unstoppable, I barter my life, health, time, treasure, strength and future to God and Im no more the captain of myself. People started to seen my changes and some started to criticize and persecute me even my family due to problems but I cast all my worries to God and He will fight my war and I just need to be still in faith. I don’t mind anymore the persecution of people for when the end of time, they will not be the one to judge me but God, I came out in this world for only God is with me and Ill die with God is also with me.
Giving all you have to God and not worry about the shaking future anymore is like breaking yourself from invisible chains that tied up to this earth, Im started to see the contentment of simple living with God in the center, for what good is it for a man if he gains the whole world and yet loses his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? I decide to study and work for God plans for me and do the things that he wants me to do even though its hard because God said do your best to enter the narrow gate because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it, I hope the people that is dear to me also find it and give in to this earthly pleasure. A Christian life is not just a walk in the park alike but it’s a life time of struggle to fight ones emotion for emotion always collide with the scriptures or the word of God so many will still fall behind due to emotional unpreparedness. That is why Paul said work your way to your own salvation for I said to myself when will I start doing the right thing? When its already too late? I better exchange my remaining life serving God and enjoy loitering around heaven afterwards rather than give in to this pleasure and yet suffers through eternity.
I found my love, happiness and peace in God’s presence hope you’ll find it also as soon as you think you can for we are already at the near end when God will come forth for his people. For I set my focus unto God and everything else is just sand. I may fall down many times during a period of race and those times that I fall is also the times that I pick myself up, clean myself with all the dust that my body gets from falling down and continue running again, During the race there will be a time that my legs will failed me or worst cannot render the action anymore but I still got my arms and hands to crawl just to finish the race of life and win that Life everlasting.
As I recall I still have hmmm I don't need to count it anymore..….. I already have my freedom.