Sunday, November 8, 2015

Words to Express

I'm writing in behalf of my shouting heart.To control ones emotion is really hard specially when my personality is expressive and not a silent type, I want to express what is inside of me to lessen the rise of emotion, to whom there is no one I cant share of. Therefor if writing this will lessen this surge of feelings inside me then so be it. I am sure that it is not any ordinary feelings that i have and I am sure that this is genuine, truly waiting is a hard one but one must endure. its been too long that i want to write down this but I'm lost of words to express what is inside, truly love is so amazing your out of words to express. There is a fine lady to which this rise of emotion and feelings is the very reason im writing. There is something about her that really attracts me and I just dont know what is that. Its hard to be malambing to a person who is very conscious in behavior and changing of voice and used of flattery sets of words.(lambing voice) I just don't know if she is allergic to this romantic words or not accustom to this practices but still i cannot hide the fact that im still attractive to her. I love everything about her but her strong personality stands above all maybe this is due to the environment that i grow up with sorrounded by strong women.

what more that i want is how her mind works, i want to know her ideals, her reasoning about just anything even things that are just plain worthless topics, if i remember it correctly in the past i do research if she has a blog or anything that where she put here thoughts are but i cant find any. I would really like to hear her stories from the beginning to the current time, i want to absorb all of it but she remain a little bit aloof, and im sure she is more conscious on the set of words that im talking here rather than the thoughts that i would like to conceive to portray, or maybe in order to show here appreciation or lambing she do the opposite? or maybe she just like to bara me ( i dont know the words to use basta gusto nya sigurong barahin ako lagi) or maybe she has this sarcastic personality i just don't know. People might have a wrong interpretation about her behavior because maybe the world doesn't accept the way she is, they pattern everything in sweet gestures and melodramatic behavior but i cant help to not care at all.

I love to ask questions but there are times that im all out of questions, i want our talks to be long and productive but the way she is i cant even make halfway my lambing voice and then she cuts me off, i learn to be conscious as well to what i should speak to her but i fail miserably each time, there is an instance that I think i make here turn-off to me, that day im so afraid she didn't even talk to me for a week and and extra days more. but still i love her. I want to understand her, i want to get her support or im just too demanding for which i still don't have the right to demand for anything.

I cant help looking at her but i dont want this feeling to be lessen also. She got hold of the softest part of my heart, I pray for her, here family as well and i do really like her mother she is very opposite of her but it is not the mother that i like but still the daughter. there is no day that she left my thoughts it pops up her facial expression the way she is laughing, when she is serious but im still puzzle on how she do the expressionless face and her gesture on like nang-iirap and deadma lang. Hope she would understand my behavioral predicament this is who i am.

Maybe this is just to much to write for but this is what inside my heart as of the current time, unedited and no sentence structure or the worst thing it cannot even pass to any literature areas but i just don't care this heart of mine is written by a child who doesn't know how to write only knows how to doodle.