Ok I need to write this one down it keeps on bugging my head for a while now. Need to express this unto words to lessen this deep thoughts of mine its like cooking a popcorn it keeps on poppin and poppin up to the point that it occupies my inner rhythm I need to work! but how! I cant help it! she dominates this coconut shell of mine. I will only stop when I'm all out of words and this crazy mind of mine will stop creating impossible things to happen. I'm not worried if someone read about this because no one shall bother also! hahahaha! my gawd! I'm starting to act stupid.
Need to lessen this anxiety of mine not only because of my present contemporary toil, I whine each day I'm fighting my thoughts with those high flying kicks! Did I already say what keeps me like this? not yet...
FINE! inside this head of mine resides this baroness, she is like a virus that keeps on growing, its growth doubles during night and early morning times because of Facebook! @#%@##$#@#@$! yes you read it right because of Facebook, I want to work and focus my thoughts with my eyebrows touching each other if I can. I have two LCD monitors, Im using it for my job actually one monitor for the program and the other is for PDF and Images mark-ups, it is really helpful most of the time and slowly it changes, I didn't notice that Facebook dominates my other one monitor and her profile resonating to my aura... I don't actually complain about it actually I'm addicted to it hahahaha she is my sweet morphine!.
The worst of it is that my mind became poetic! god of perpetual help what is happening to me? will this result to my own demise or unto the state of euphoria?... you see what I mean!. I want to ward off and cut all this thoughts of mine but how?! her countenance brightens my day (actually night to be specific). I would never be like this if I didn't give her a chat message in the first place can't help it thou hehehehe.
She is comely in my point of perspective if not all of men but many will agree with my statement. I don't actually know how to put it into scientific terms nor equate this body reaction of mine regarding of her... I did mention impossible right? yes I think it is impossible for me to be with her or I'm just being milksop about it, you can't blame me about it I'm no good looking guy on the block, I am reflecting on myself the cruelty of being ugly, I am showered with mischief and offensive to the sense of beauty actually and the only one who comforts me about it is my own created words (love your own in short love yourself).
I want to spend time talking to her but I'm afraid of doing so in the first place, it made me think that I'm a stalker! just a little bit more and I shall loose my sanity thinking over and over again. A simple hello gives shivers into my spine and I fall in daydreaming state, I'm fighting my mind to stop doing it I still got 3 jobs to be doing first and it succeeds, good thing I still got a hold of my practical mindset and continue working, without it I don't know where will I be maybe you can find me in a landfill cover with gibberish phrase.
I declare an all-out war with my emotion and thoughts that achieving such dream is very impossible I shall anger the gods if I do so. My point in life changes that money is indeed important in many aspect as well as amore (I hate using the word love it makes me puke) that is why Im working my arrses off (that is how the Iris says of "asses") when the time comes that wealth will never be a problem to me. I know god loves me but asking her from him will be to much I know my place and I thank god that dreams are free.
I shall stop for now I still need to work!!!
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