Its been my 3rd Month now in this place in which I see as a big bowl of sand heated inside an oven and a few more months that climate will change from hot to cold, the good thing is that I haven’t got sick yet nor get a fever out of this harsh condition, I think it’s because of the juices I drank each day, and take note Saudi juices are the best not the same as the ones sold in the Philippines it seems the texture and materials used is way much more different ok enough of the juice thing and also before I forgot even the soap here is different heheheh … where were we? Right the things worth living for hmmm ….. Ive just finish watching the movie fast five in which I really really do envy those cars, the cast, the sittings, the places and the over flowing cash and there’s a quote there stated by one of the cast “we only live once” and it hits me, we do live once got a lot of questions to answers and seeking for pleasures in life and what the hell em I doing in this place? Working more or less 10hours a day 6 days a week and even day off is useless in this place where will you go and enjoy life? I don’t think that the word pleasure exist in this place anyway… if only just only money doesn’t matter I loiter myself in any place I want to and enjoy life and yet reality bites yup it bites so hard that your screaming in pain not physically but emotionally suffocated. God have all the reasons and yet we can’t ask him directly we must find it ourselves and it takes time before we bump are heads up and a lot of daydreaming and self-thinking before we arrive at that stage so what age are we that time? 28? 35? Speaking of living only once ey…
I over exaggeratedly misses the taste of beer and sitting beside the bar relaxing and enjoying every bottle of it and then walk around and do some sightseeing and the cold gentle breeze of the sea as the sound of waves wash away my uncertainty… my dream in life is to travel a lot more of those great places and yet I don’t have the expenses to do so I need to work my ass off before I achieve such dream so here’s the equation if I work my ass off it takes me 10 years without any vices and just save, so that will make me 36 years old that time! And I’m still single if I do so and if I’m going to marry and indulge in a family manner this traveling will be just a dust in the wind now tell me do we have the enough time to live our dreams? Fuck that living dreams and accept what future holds even if it disappoint us. Selfishness has its limits and I’ve seen where it headed to. I’ve been longing of a heartily laughter and a good conversation in which there are no boundaries of topics to discuss, I may be clamoring all of this details but I can’t help it I want a life full of enjoyments and so as anyone do but we have our own resolves in life in which we are tight-up in this round iron ball attached in one of our feet that moving to our own desires is hard enough to walk to. Complain as many as you can and don’t stop complaining about your own life and feel relieve after that for this dreams will be just a thing in the past and continue living up to the point that were old too old enough to think back do we enjoy life as it were supposed to? And then we lie to our own selves that yes we did.
They say that life is a long way road but for me life is a long way road while looking down on road looking for any penny that we can find and lucky are those who walks in life in a road full of grasses while those who walks in a hot sand sweating to seek for an oases to rest. My only pleasure in here is to watch movies and web surfing for this small pleasure became big in this place this became my only refuge and gateway to excuse myself in this reality. There are good things also why I’m here as my dream to travel is starting but I never dream to start my travel in this place I want to travel where work and pleasure resides and yet those places exist in a place that is hard to enter. It’s a hard life really hard that I’ve been staring my own ceiling for minutes and became hours I’ve became a lazy monster wew it makes me tired maybe due to this drastic changes in my life from comfort of my own apartment down to this pace. I’ve been seeking a good time in which I have to gate crush upstairs to push myself to talk to my own kababayan good thing they are kind enough to accommodate and indulge to aid to my suffering, Friday is the only day I can do a good talk and share my technical knowledge to a fellow kababayan who eagerly wants to know 3D for others don’t want to teach him so I’ve ask why will you deprive someone who wants to learn? Is that jealousy or pure selfishness? But it has its advantages so in exchange for teaching him we just talk things after like sentiments in life for we already feel the burden of life, Im so afraid that every hours is a ticking time-bomb that will blow anytime and yet I keep on praying to god that he will make me strong, it’s hard to live in this place if you don’t have a hard and strong personality in which I do less and been always kind and just listen I want to exert myself and yet I can’t, no sounds came from my mouth and a void of sound encircle me.
As I recall 1 year 9 months and 13 hours left for me to be free again.
As I'm reading your blog, I was deeply immersed down from my soul to my heart. This is warm and touchy, opposite to what have you said a rant.
ReplyDeleteThis is described as an inspiration my dear good friend Bet.
VALIDATED AND SEALED.